Bit of a rough couple of weeks at work so this took two weeks longer than intended (to find the time). Named after the Reincarnationfish song (of the same name). Seem to be finding song names and lyrics (especially Rfish’s) a good source of inspiration at the moment.

Same time again next week in three weeks. xx

Hand drawn, scanned, traced in illustrator. Textures mostly mine with one Machine Wash texture.

Trying to complete at least one self-initiated piece a week, this took two but I blame illness. Started the next one last night.

Started a new Flickr set for illustrations.

Happy Saturday.

In the spirit of trying to cram far more into the first quarter of the year that is probably healthy I’ve been learning AS3. Just completed (well make ready for initial release) my first AS3 application. It’s a file browser/selector for the php content management system I’ve been writing since January. The CMS has been pretty successful so far, clients have been very positive about it’s ease of use and the flexibility of the code means I’ve already re-purposed large chunks of it for other projects (mostly small budget web-template systems). There’s still a lot of functionality I’d like to add to it if time allows and I’d love to make it open source and more extensible but right now I don’t have the time.

The only horrible flaw with it was the file management system, although you could upload files, group them, add meta data and assorted other stuff, the act of including one in a content page (as an inline image, link or whatever) was a pain in the arse. It was mostly done through a plugin in TinyMCE which wangs up a popup with a list of all the files uploaded to the file library as clickable links. This is fine if you have 5 files and you know the filename of the file you are looking for but it becomes ungainly and irritating if you have any greater number of files. So for my first AS3 app I put together a nice file browser which gives you thumbnails all nicely paginated with a set of filters (alphanumeric, by file group and by file extension).

It has a couple of bugs which will need to be ironed out and I’d like to completely update the layout and some of the functionality to make it a bit of a smoother process. There’s a couple of flaws with the usability which I want to address BUT overall I’m pretty happy with it for a first version and a first AS3 project. I’ve integrated it with a couple of our client’s CMS systems and I’ll see what the feedback is like.

Click here to play with the online demo

Trying to do more unplanned/self initiated stuff. This was  a quick pic using a photo of the blackbird that sits outside my office window.

Woo! One of my photos has been used in a photo guide of Prague (with my permission).

(I do still live, but very, very, very busy).

Here is a lesson by example. This is absolutely not how to deal with your designer. This is more common than makes me comfortable.

I’m off to stick my head in the oven.

Went for a walk round Burnham Beeches in the freezing cold to get some wintery/misty photos. Wanted to try and get something a bit dark and otherworldly. I’m moderately happy with some of the shots, they look spooky enough (in my head anyway), hopefully in a subtle manner. They all look much better full size.

Was a bit dissapointed, took loads of shots of the mist coming through the trees but when I checked them later the mist was hardly visible. Did follow a couple of Muntjac’s around for a while but then some shouty twats with a dog turned up and scared them off before I got a chance to take a photo.

All 10 shots up on flickr.

Here’s my favourites…

Think of this as my New Year Resolution if you like.

For years I’ve had this horrific mental block which I’ve allowed to kill off a large amount of my creative drive. A combination of procrastination and fear of failure have caused me to give up on most creative projects before they have a chance to launch. As I age this has started to fill me with dread, every year since I was about 25 (I’m now 32) I’ve promised myself I’ll finally record my first album and for the last 3 or 4 years I’ve been convincing myself that I’ll get enough visual material together for a book. Neither the album or the book would have to actually be released in any sense so much as just finished, in a creative sense if you will.

Every year that I’ve failed to do both of these things has put me more on edge that I’m never going to do them and I spent a lot of last year thinking about this and actively trying to sort out why I’m such a failure at personal creative projects. Paid for stuff isn’t such an issue, with deadlines and paycheques pressing I manage to get stuff done with no problems, BUT I do believe that if I could extend my personal creative output my overall output would increase in quality dramatically (although this would be a nice side effect rather than the overall intent).

There is no one simple reason for my ongoing failure to actually create. I spent a while studying books on enhancing creativity, of which there are a few and some are pretty good. My favourites are:

• A Technique for producing ideas – James Young
• How to Get Ideas – Jack Foster, Larry Corby
• It’s Not How Good You Are, It’s How Good You Want To be – Paul Arden
• Whatever You Think, Think The Opposite – Paul Arden

I’d strongly recommend both the Paul Arden books regardless of any creative blocks as they are brilliantly witty and beautifully put together. I leaf through them both on occasion when a bit bored. The books did help a little, but not much. The first two go through the mental processes of creativity and teach excellent techniques, which for the most part I already use to great effect on work projects. But I learned some new stuff and it’s a step forward, I’m obviously not completely creatively retarded I’m just not capable of applying myself outside of a work environment. I should probably be a little clearer, by work I mean either stuff I’m being paid to do or stuff I’ve been talked into doing for someone else. I’m absolutely fine to create stuff as long as the end ‘client’ is not myself.

I spent a lot of time analysing my creative output and my general life patterns, habits and so on and I believe I’ve nailed it. I have three overall problems which kill off my personal creative drive:

Distraction and procrastination. I’m a sucker for other people’s projects. I’m better these days as people have to ask me to help out but in the past I’ve often offered myself up to every project out there without much thought to how much time I actually have. I find it very hard to relax and concentrate on something personal if I have anything outstanding for other people. An awful fear of letting people down drives me to put other’s projects above my own. As a good friend recently said ‘Just tell them to go fuck themselves’, which is harsh but effectively accurate, or to be more fair I just need to learn to manage my time. Other people’s projects are not a bad thing, but too often I end up doing the administration part which is no fun and not at all creative.

I also have this fear of not being involved in something brilliant, and often the stuff I’m involved in is brilliant – The History of Guns album is probably one of the most amazing things I’ve been involved in. The reality though is that not every project I get asked to join will be that good and the more I sign on to the less time and energy can be given to each project so I need to be a lot less reckless when saying ‘Yes’ to things.

Fear of mediocrity. This is, if I say so myself, fucking idiotic. The very fact it’s taken me this many years to see this shows I deserve a kick in the head. The fear that my creative output may be mediocre causes me to not bother creating it in the first place and so no practice, no evolution of skills and ideas and no creative process is had. EVERYONE makes something mediocre at times. If I don’t create something shitty I cannot learn where  I went wrong. Fucking idiot.

Blank canvas. Not in the direct sense, but in a more general form. I have interest in too many areas: illustration, photography, music, video, animation, programming and other things. When I do allow myself some creative time I often can’t even get over the hurdle of what sort of creative thing to be doing, I can switch back and forth all day trying to decide whether to photograph things, write music, draw stuff or something else so in the end nothing gets done. This is the one problem I still don’t have a strict solution for but I’m working on it. One solution is pre-planning, I will plan a day to go and take photographs or a day to spend editing music and from there stick to the plan as well as I can. I’m getting better.

One very effective mechanism I’ve found is keeping a regular sketchbook. In those times when I’d usually surf for something horrific on the internet or watch TV I’ve been drawing random crap in sketchbooks, nothing specific, just whatever comes to mind. It started with the intent of improving my drawing skills, which it has a little, but the side effect is that over time I’ve found it easier to come up with new ideas for things to draw, plus I now have several books full of assorted sketches and concepts that can be used elsewhere.

Enough drivel. My intent now is to always be working on at least one personal creative endeavor, regardless of whether they come to fruition I’m going to force myself to find time for them and ensure they are given a decent priority over other things. I’m currently working on two very different projects, one is a simple illustration project I can work on anytime I have space for a sketchbook and pen, the other is a ridiculously overblown multimedia project which involves modeling, casting, photography, locations, appropriate weather conditions, editing, music and possibly video.

Why I am telling the internet this? Catharsis and hopefully it will convince me  to carry out my threats.

Two more things. Happpy New Year, and how cool is this?

Myself and Scott went on our annual Winter trip to Imber Village today. We were hoping the church would be open as neither of us have ever been inside, it wasn’t we were out by about 4 days, it’s open for a couple of days in January (can’t remember exact dates). Took a few photos but not many as hands were very cold and we’ve both photographed it to death now. Some of these are more ‘near Imber’ than actually ‘in Imber’.

Whole set on Flickr.

Still alive! Knocked up an incredibly twee Xmas card* while waiting for Virus Checks and Backups to run – for some reason I’m utterly incapable of doing anything directly constructive while such things are happening, this is something I must get over.

Anyway, in case I don’t get another chance/burst of motivation to post before Thursday, have a wonderful Christmas, I for one am aiming for taking photos of winter and getting some peace and quiet.

xx

Happy Xmas

* it’s rough unplanned sketch, please don’t bother critiquing, you will make the baby jesus cry.